Yafa Zalanov, 78, has lived on the corner of Beverly Road and Ocean Parkway for the past thirty-two years. In the fall of 1978 she left her hometown, Baku, Azerbaijan, with her six children and husband. They found a cozy two bedroom apartment on the first floor of a fine building at $280 a month (now over $1000). During all her time in America, Yafa has not learned English; she only knows her cultural dialect, Juhuro. Her daughter-in-law, Larissa, 46, explains, “She knows very little, things like, ‘How are you?’ and ‘I love you.’”
With Larissa’s help I learn that when Yafa first came to Brooklyn when there were few people that shared her culture, but now she predicts that down Ocean Parkway, from Beverley to Foster, there are hundreds who have roots from Baku. This has made it possible for a subculture to form, thus Yafa never had a desire to learn English. On nice days she walks up and down the pathway with friends to relax on benches as cars speed along the boulevard. This pathway was split in 1894 to form the first bike path in the U.S.
This section of Ocean Parkway is considered part of Brooklyn’s 12th district’s Kensington region. The district is also home to the “densely populated section,” Borough Park (brooklyncb12.org). The census bureau estimated in 2005 that the total population in is 2,511,408, an increase of 210,744 from 1990. These figures contribute to Brooklyn being the most populous borough.
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NEW GRAPH: During all her time in America, DO YOU NEED FIRST HALF OF THIS SENTENCE? Yafa has not learned English; she only knows her cultural dialect, Juhuro. Her daughter-in-law, Larissa, 46, explains, “She knows very little, things like, ‘How are you?’ and ‘I love you.’” IATTRIBUTION SHOULD PROBABLY BE MIDWAY THROUGH OR AFTER QUOTE, INSTEAD OF AT BEGINNING.
With Larissa’s help I learn that when Yafa first came to Brooklyn when there were few people that shared her culture, but now she predicts WRONG WORD--ESTIMATES? that down OR ALONG Ocean Parkway, from Beverley to Foster, there are hundreds who have roots from IN Baku. This has made it possible for a subculture to form, AND EXPLAINS WHY Yafa never had a desire to learn English.
WOULD BE NICE TO HEAR A BIT ABOUT THAT SUBCULTURE--WHAT THESE PEOPLE DO/CELEBRATE/WORSHIP, FOR EX.
NEW GRAPH: On nice days YAFA walks up and down the pathway with friends to relax on benches as cars speed along the boulevard. This pathway was split in 1894 to form the first bike path in the U.S. FEELS LIKE THIS GRAPH COULD USE ONE MORE SENTENCE--MAYBE A BIT OF BACKGROUND ON HER, WHY SHE LEFT, WHAT HER KIDS DO, HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THE US.
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DIFFICULT TRANSITION HERE: WOULD BE NICE TO TRY SOMETHING LIKE ''THE AZERBAIJANI COMMUNITY IS JUST ONE OF DOZENS OF IMMIGRANT COMMUNITIES IN KENSINGTON, WHOSE BOUNDARIES MORE OR LESS CORRESPOND TO BROOKLYN'S CD 12. This section of Ocean Parkway is considered part of Brooklyn’s 12th district’s Kensington region WRONG WORD--NOT A REGION. The district is also home to the “densely populated section,” Borough Park (brooklyncb12.org). CONFUSING--NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN. The census bureau estimated in 2005 that the total population in is 2,511,408, an increase of 210,744 from 1990. These figures contribute to Brooklyn being the most populous borough. HMMM--WOULD BE BETTER TO STICK WITH IMMIGRATION STATS, I THINK. NEED A KICKER WITH A QUOTE, PREFERABLY FROM YAFA OR DAUGHTER.
THIS IS A GREAT PIECE OF REPORTING BUT NEEDS TO SAY MORE ABOUT THE COMMUNITY DISTRICT. YOU WAIT TILL THE LAST GRAPH TO TRY TO DO THAT, AND THE ARTICLE KIND OF FIZZLES AT THAT POINT. THE LINK BETWEEN THE WOMAN'S COMMUNITY AND THE COMMUNITY DISTRICT SHOULD PROBABLY GO HIGHER IN THE PIECE.
ALSO, A PHOTO OF HER WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE--AND YOU NEED TO CREDIT THE ONES YOU DO USE.
GRADE: A FOR REPORTING, B+ OVERALL